Relationship Status: Ruined

Written by K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky

In this new age of social media, appropriate online etiquette can be hard to find (even with Google). But here’s a new piece of advice built on millions of heartbreaking stories: for the sake of the relationship you are changing your relationship status for, take a few more minutes and “Unfriend” or “Block” certain Facebook friends.

Who should go? Anyone who could possibly be a threat to the future of your new relationship including, ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends, everyone you have ever hooked up with in the past, anyone you have had an emotional attachment with, and anybody you have had a crush on.  Seem a little extreme? Here are just two of the hundreds of stories we have heard from real people who have found themselves on the other side of a broken marriage due to their spouse’s questionable choice of Facebook friends.

“My husband and I have been married for 36 years. One year ago he was contacted by an old friend and neighbor on Facebook. They became “friends” and started chatting… I soon became concerned at the time my husband spent chatting to her, supposedly about “old times”…She was in a unhappy marriage and enjoyed his flattery and sweet talk. ..To cut a long story short we separated as a result. .. I discovered that she had flown out…and they had spent a three week holiday together. They had also got engaged and planned to get married. Well things went downhill from there and he moved out once again…(W)e are busy with divorce proceedings. My heart is broken and at the moment I hate Facebook.”

*****

“My wife joined Facebook and was spending an incredible amount of time reconnecting with old friends…(t)hen, she found one of her high school sweethearts from 22 years ago. And yes, they were soon involved in an emotional affair…(S)he informed me that she wanted out of the marriage because she was involved with someone else. I soon discovered who he was and that it started with FB. She moved out and our divorce was final 3 weeks ago today.

She walked away from her husband, her children, and her home for this guy. Only to find that after all of his sweet talking and promises, he was not going to leave his wife and kids as they had originally planned…So, here she is…no husband, children that don’t want to see her, no home…and no FB boyfriend (yet). She’s lost her good girl reputation not only with my family and friends, but with her own family and friends as well. 18 years together. 13 years married. It just feels as if it was all for nothing.”

These stories show the power (and real threat) of the “ex.” If the memories of a lost love, the reawakened emotions from a former bond, and the rekindling of feelings from walking down memory lane can bring down a marriage that is more than three decades in the making, how much more vulnerable is a relationship that is just starting out?

Our advice: if a Facebook friend doesn’t help move your marriage forward, it’s not a relationship worth keeping.

As you enjoy the comments and celebration over your newfound Relationship Status, peruse your Friends and ask yourself, is this person a potential threat to my marriage? If the answer is no, one quick click of the button can take care of it.